When I'm not there

While I'm here

standing right behind you

with my palms against your back

waiting for the right time

to catch you when you fall

to push you when you get to far behind

Now, you know me

as a person that gives her live away

sweeping a thousand smiles, just like that

I'm up here now

wishing you a happiness and luck

wishing that you won't fall or left

even when I'm not around

I can see the world are giving me signs

when you're glancing at me

tears that can't be held when you whisper your prays

in your room, crying secretly

feel numb outside and pain inside, alone

When I'm not there.. when I'm not there..by your side...

Old days

Every seconds, minutes, hours you past

every moment, and emotions

everything you say

every little thing you do

they are what you are  made of

peeled aside the reality 

leave nothing, but pain

When the sorrow comes

and you're lack of balance

no one to embrace, no one give a damn

you're crying, behind your sleeves

the restless youth

your, restless youth, been wasted

No turning back

regrets are all over you

only resignation and hope left

give it your all

even when others are starting to step

no hard feeling

no envy

Hold tight, and step forward

Empty

When you got things in your mind

and you wonder how to get it out,

would you spend your time

and spit it out to me?

I keep looking for the right time,

till the moon comes out

and time freeze me, 

I got goosebumps, and my feeling's not well

I plead to nothing, 

I tell stories to the wind,

feels so empty,

nobody around, again..

keeping my imaginary friend by my side,

no warmth, no comfort, no satisfaction

without you, without you,

I keep telling it's okay, 

without you around..

Until now, you never know

it's a lie.

New change

what were the things you hid?

what were the things you said?

show me show me

show me show me

show me show me

the little things are important

tell me tell me

tell me tell me

tell me tell me

the time we shouldn't forgotten

now had forgotten 

would you give a change?

would you take the risk?

of loving me..?

Broken Dreams

I'm giving in, I'm giving all my love

I'm going to catch my dreams, my passion

it's not a goodbye yet

we'll see each other again

I don't know when precisely 

here, or other places, or even in other world

Days by days

the butterflies are randomly fliying

I jump so up high to catch them

and, when I got them

their flies are all remains

broken flies

broken dreams

I'm empty

Makes me wonder

how it feels like.

I pray every night

asking for the right one.

Everybody seems so happy

stressed at the same time.

They have something to wait for

something they don't know, bad or good.

But, their life's colored,

pink, red, blue, yellow, green, purple..

I'm still the same as I was,

black and white everywhere..

They said to me to not waste my time,

they didn't knew how I like my days,

until someday, they break, no empty space to color,

and I.. still have mine

The secrets

It's like a feather, blown away cause of winds
I go, without knowing direction, wandering
What's going on in my mind they ask
Through the air or through the land


Voices that calling me,
smothering me, asking me to come back. 
Hands that holding me,
somehow getting weaker


I'll put through my life for searching
some of them say it's not worth it,
but I do the best for it,
to find, the truth, to know the secrets.


Then, I go, again, wandering,
through the time limits, 
now I found the secrets, that no one knew,
I just wish to be vanish, so I can be the only who know.

A ripped poem

I'm saving it, it's hidden.
I'm treasuring it, it's save.
No one will be given.
Until it'll forced to take.


Some of the lost pain are inside.
While the rest still undercover.
When you still want it to be divide.
I'll take a luck from my clover.


My friend, it's all about you.
The paths you've walked, it's behind you.
I know what's the most of you is true.
I'm so sorry when I feel the most of blue.


You gave me the inspire.
Hold me up high, high up to the sky.
You hold my hands, take me out of my grave.
And then I finally realized, of my dreams and how to fight.

New Days

When the new day has born, let me tell you the secret.
When The December come, let me tell you about it.
When the end is as a start of a something new, you'll know.


Struggles, anger, sadness and tears are past.

Will define something better in the future,
will struggles for good things and hopes,
will pour my anger to lightening up the others,
will cry and give my tear.. only for joy and happiness.



Seeing the days behind us, will only detain on what we do.
Don't just sit and give up to destiny, you never know if it's really exist or don't,
don't just fold your fingers and pray like there's o tomorrow.
Stand up and fight for the new days, that's the only thing you can do to pass them.




New days, are reborn


with new hopes..





 -it will be my birthday at the 21st  ♥-

Nostalgic

My friend, it's been a long journey.
Remember how we got until that day?
Do you remember how's the first we got along? Become a good friends?
Are those beautiful and painful days and moments still remain in your head?
Did you enjoyed the days we've been trough together?


We've talked much about family, friendship and dreams.
You helped me a lot trough the way, and so do I, if you feel like you've been helped, of course.
We've sang a never ending song, with a deaf tones and beautiful lyrics.
Do you ever regret all those time you spent with me?


I don't like I've been in a hard time with you, but if you do, forgive me.
If there's something I can do to make it up, I will, tell me.


But, like everybody said, it's hard to make a best friend, a true friend.
Looks the line's fading slowly, and vanish.
Woosh! Just like that.
Can you feel it? I tried to get along with you one more time.
You were there, with your .. 'friends', I was there too. But this time, I'm invisible to you.
I was a stranger, you wouldn't look at me. I wonder what were you thinking that day.
I really wonder..


I hope you notice, I cross my finger and pray.
I hope the nightmares I've used to get, isn't true.